I’m back and I am confused.

So, when I started this whole thing I was in a place at the beginning of the summer that was all about studying for my GRE, trying to find a job, trying to seem less of “waste of space.” However, this entire summer was spent freaking the fuck out about my GRE and doing somewhat average and not really killing it in anyone particular area besides essay writing – SHOCKER. I really did look for jobs, but I just felt like I was looking for something to fill some sort of moronic void, not something that could potentially be a good learning opportunity. This Friday I have an interview and I am extremely nervous because I kind of need a job to help pay rent to my dad at the end of the month and if I do not get this potential job I will have to settle for something extremely degrading. I have nothing against manual labor, but I know I can do so much more.

OH and to add to the shit storm, guys I turn 22 next week. My mother was already one full year into motherhood at 22 and I am still feeling like a child myself. I understand that finding what you want to do in life and what is best for you is something that eventually everyone discovers and that’s what your 20’s are for, but god damn when all my friends are finding bomb ass jobs and I’m over here struggling it makes sense for me to be seriously jealous and lost. I honestly feel like I am so alone in this and I know I’m not considering the millions of people who lead a “started from the bottom and now they’re here” sort of lifetstyle, but I WANNA BE THERE ALREADY.

It will take sometime for me to figure out how to get there, of course, that’s a given. But I guess for now I will write all my feelings on here.

(i’ll be back soon with less depressing stuff soon…hopefully.)

Hey guys

I just want to start my first post by stating some key points that I am probably going to get questioned on.

  1. I did not attend a super liberal University, in fact it was one of the most conservative Universities in this country.
  2. I am not here to bash anyone specifically, but rather express my point of view of life inside a modern day University and life outside of one.
  3. I will be 22 years old in September, so by no means am I full of any sort of wisdom people tell you get as you get older.
  4. I am human, so are you. Sometimes, I may say somethings that is not normal and maaayyybbeeee a little controversial, but just bear with me or don’t read.

Anyways, let’s begin.

A topic that most people haven’t delved into much is: “What is college really like?” People assume that you will be attending parties every weekend, hooking up with the hottest people or casually walking into an 8am a tad bit hungover. College is not exactly like the movies or the shows where everyone is always well dressed and making new friends everyday. I know, big shocker. I am not saying that going to college is a waste of time or anything (your parents would kill me if I told you that), but I am saying that it isn’t as easy to make friends or attend parties as one may think. Neither, are all the professors carefree about attendance…some of them actually take attendance like we’re five AND count it as a grade. UGH! What I mean is, if you do not join clubs or social groups then you are pretty much going to be deemed a complete loner. Do not get me wrong joining clubs is actually beneficial and will look realllyyy good on your resume for post grad, but if you aren’t a good multi-tasker then attending all these meetings and social events will get in the way of focusing on the more important things – like studying.

I remember my first semester of college I wanted to join every single club known to man in the hopes that I would make “lifelong” friends. Boy was I wrong. I met some great people, but damn these kids are harsh and ruthless… they were out to be the best and would do anything to knock anyone out of their way. It was a cool learning experience, but I wasn’t happy in any of the clubs I joined because none of them personified me. Now a little insight into me, well, I consider myself a laid-back person, someone approachable. However, not a lot of people do, so I end up not being able to make friends and find a lot of my peers are a little too stuck up for me. So ever since high school and carrying into college, I could not find anyone I really clicked with (that is until I met my roomie, but that’s another story for a different day).

I did attend a few parties here and there, but I have never been that socialite that got invited to literally everything under the sun. I didn’t really get invited to anything for the first year of college because I was too busy with my new boyfriend of the time. *sidenote* DO NOT GET A BOYFRIEND AS SOON AS YOU GET TO COLLEGE!!!! You’ll spend all your time with them and none actually making friends or studying…sigh. Unless you’re one of those people that can balance everything and still remain sane, then by all means. But please, for the rest of us average humans, wait until you’ve settled in a bit before jumping into a relationship, trussttt me on this!

College is a fun place to be, but do not take an 8 am for the life of you! You won’t make it. Do not be shy to talk to that cute boy/girl across the room in the library because more likely than not he/she was checking you out too. BE BOLD, BE BRAVE, AND BE YOU. It is fun, but it’s challenging and one hell of a ride.

to be continued…